Hi friends! I had to have a blogging break due to the ridiculous stresses and strains of family life mixed with a challenging term at work, which all seemed unbearable at times. It is not fair to bombard you with it all because I would be far too honest and probably distress you too much, or make you feel sorry for me. To subject you, my readers, to both would be pitiful and useless, so the silence was necessary. Anyway, my computer decided to update and crash, subsequently I caught a nasty virus and did likewise. Recognising that we all have troubles in our lives, my main thrust of writing this diary is to encourage you, while recording my own struggles and achievements, hopefully in a bittersweet style that is ultimately a positive reading experience. So, at this Easter time of new beginnings I'm changing tack a bit and writing about how I am persevering in the wonderful world of reading and writing.
I've recently joined an online writing community and a local writing forum at our Huddersfield library, where I met some lovely authors. The support and advice from both are essential, providing a whole network out there to get involved with. Attending a brilliant writing workshop during the Huddersfield Literature Festival inspired me and I've already submitted a short story into a competition and am currently writing another one. There is a novella competition coming up which I am going to enter and meanwhile I am trying to be brave and seek an agent or publishing house weekly. Got to get used to rejection Susie, it's all part of the process. Writing something everyday, which can be challenging after a busy day at work, doesn't feel like a chore to me, it helps me relax and puts things back in order. The letters, words and sentences which I write are completely under my control, they say exactly what I want to and as a true Yorkshire lass, I mean what I say. It's all very carefully constructed waffling. Competitions seem to be a good way forward as then your writing is judged independently and if longlisted, shortlisted or heaven forbid, you WIN, then you have your foot poking through the tiniest of cracks of the thickest door and into the harsh, otherwise seemingly impenetrable world of publishing. Oh, and if you can afford it, an MA in Creative Writing seems to help. The last thing to remember is DON'T EVER GIVE UP! This applies to everyone of us in whatever we are striving to achieve.
On a lighter note I was recently invited to attend an early mammogram, as part of a trial. Some of my lovely friends are also on this VIP guest list.
SPOILER ALERT! DO NOT CONTINUE TO READ THIS UNTIL YOU HAVE HAD YOURS.
'It will feel like you're having your blood pressure taken,' the miserable, matter-of-fact nurse informed me. What a liar she turned out to be; I do not like untruthful people. God, give me the truth no matter how much it hurts! Do I honestly mean that? My goodness me, it felt like someone grabbing my breasts, (one at a time) and ramming them into a cold, metal vice, then tightening it up until I thought my mammaries would actually burst, showering the walls with blood, fat, lymph gland fluid and any impossibly left over milk from those distant, joyous days of breast feeding my children. OUCH!! OUCH!! Even piercing my own nipples with a rusty nail with no ice to numb them would be a sublime pleasure compared to this harrowing ordeal. I hasten to add that I am NOT joking. For any male readers out there, imagine your worst enemy, ex-wife or bitter ex-lover wielding some silver, metal nutcrackers over whatever you have to offer in that department. Your hands are obviously tied up (try not to faint now) as they shove your manhood into the apparatus then squeeze the handles together with all their wrath, literally trying to crush your bits and pieces into oblivion. 'Mercy!' you yell, just before you black out and they release the pressure..........until the next time. Wow, that was fun to write.
I somehow suppressed the carnal desire to shout, scream, cry and swear all at the same time. Thank heavens it didn't take long. I felt like I was in some sadistic torture chamber, not a touring NHS mobile unit. As if that wasn't painful enough, a week later I receive a letter inviting me to a hospital in Bradford for second stage screening. Allow three hours for this appointment it informs me; I could watch Mel Gibson's film, The Passion of the Christ (2004) with time to spare. Happy Easter! Then I suddenly remember, that suffering is very much the way of the pilgrim's progress. It is how much commitment to the faith we have to keep on, keeping on.
Encouragement is vital. Exercise essential. Hope everything. No doubt, I will keep you abreast of the situation.
So, whatever you are struggling with just now, know that it won't last forever. Enjoy doing the things which make you happy and feel alive, when you can. Keep walking positively on your own unique path with the help of your family and friends. Don't give up, I won't.
With Love xx
PS I always find scrubbing the toilet vigorously clean helps to put things into a much brighter perspective.
Recently read:
The Red Notebook by Antoine Laurain
Transit by Rachel Cusk
Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine by Gail Honeyman
The Present (a poem) by Simon Armitage
I've recently joined an online writing community and a local writing forum at our Huddersfield library, where I met some lovely authors. The support and advice from both are essential, providing a whole network out there to get involved with. Attending a brilliant writing workshop during the Huddersfield Literature Festival inspired me and I've already submitted a short story into a competition and am currently writing another one. There is a novella competition coming up which I am going to enter and meanwhile I am trying to be brave and seek an agent or publishing house weekly. Got to get used to rejection Susie, it's all part of the process. Writing something everyday, which can be challenging after a busy day at work, doesn't feel like a chore to me, it helps me relax and puts things back in order. The letters, words and sentences which I write are completely under my control, they say exactly what I want to and as a true Yorkshire lass, I mean what I say. It's all very carefully constructed waffling. Competitions seem to be a good way forward as then your writing is judged independently and if longlisted, shortlisted or heaven forbid, you WIN, then you have your foot poking through the tiniest of cracks of the thickest door and into the harsh, otherwise seemingly impenetrable world of publishing. Oh, and if you can afford it, an MA in Creative Writing seems to help. The last thing to remember is DON'T EVER GIVE UP! This applies to everyone of us in whatever we are striving to achieve.
On a lighter note I was recently invited to attend an early mammogram, as part of a trial. Some of my lovely friends are also on this VIP guest list.
SPOILER ALERT! DO NOT CONTINUE TO READ THIS UNTIL YOU HAVE HAD YOURS.
'It will feel like you're having your blood pressure taken,' the miserable, matter-of-fact nurse informed me. What a liar she turned out to be; I do not like untruthful people. God, give me the truth no matter how much it hurts! Do I honestly mean that? My goodness me, it felt like someone grabbing my breasts, (one at a time) and ramming them into a cold, metal vice, then tightening it up until I thought my mammaries would actually burst, showering the walls with blood, fat, lymph gland fluid and any impossibly left over milk from those distant, joyous days of breast feeding my children. OUCH!! OUCH!! Even piercing my own nipples with a rusty nail with no ice to numb them would be a sublime pleasure compared to this harrowing ordeal. I hasten to add that I am NOT joking. For any male readers out there, imagine your worst enemy, ex-wife or bitter ex-lover wielding some silver, metal nutcrackers over whatever you have to offer in that department. Your hands are obviously tied up (try not to faint now) as they shove your manhood into the apparatus then squeeze the handles together with all their wrath, literally trying to crush your bits and pieces into oblivion. 'Mercy!' you yell, just before you black out and they release the pressure..........until the next time. Wow, that was fun to write.
I somehow suppressed the carnal desire to shout, scream, cry and swear all at the same time. Thank heavens it didn't take long. I felt like I was in some sadistic torture chamber, not a touring NHS mobile unit. As if that wasn't painful enough, a week later I receive a letter inviting me to a hospital in Bradford for second stage screening. Allow three hours for this appointment it informs me; I could watch Mel Gibson's film, The Passion of the Christ (2004) with time to spare. Happy Easter! Then I suddenly remember, that suffering is very much the way of the pilgrim's progress. It is how much commitment to the faith we have to keep on, keeping on.
Encouragement is vital. Exercise essential. Hope everything. No doubt, I will keep you abreast of the situation.
So, whatever you are struggling with just now, know that it won't last forever. Enjoy doing the things which make you happy and feel alive, when you can. Keep walking positively on your own unique path with the help of your family and friends. Don't give up, I won't.
With Love xx
PS I always find scrubbing the toilet vigorously clean helps to put things into a much brighter perspective.
Recently read:
The Red Notebook by Antoine Laurain
Transit by Rachel Cusk
Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine by Gail Honeyman
The Present (a poem) by Simon Armitage
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