Spa Class

Spa Class

''Mirror, mirror on the wall

who is the most stressed of all?''

First skin step is to cleanse:

wipe off the daily grime

stroking upwards, choking,

cotton wool pads absorbing my make-up mask,

skin shining, light-bulb luminous.

The surface reveals

what the heart usually feels

a face that's weathered many storms:

furrowed brow, 

farmers tracks ploughed

between bushy eyebrows,

yellowing white in corners of eyes resting on

purple, puffy pillows,

freckles, moles, faint moustache grows.

Second skin step is to tone:

using the cool refreshing fluid

dare I go deeper

take another layer off myself?

Analyse, memorise.

I see the time I punched a bully in the chin

and shook.

The first boy I tongue kissed under a coat,

grief-stricken tears when Grandma died.

I hear you and me begin to be,

laughing, talking, walking free.

Time together, time apart

yearning, learning, relationship art.

I feel the contraction that came so quick,

half searching down the toilet

feeling sick,

as I tremblingly flushed our baby away

while you both slept, I wept

alone and wept.

Then forced myself to phone NHS Direct.

Third skin step to use a mask:

feel it tighten, maybe crack

as it covers little fissures, bumps and hollows

like a hippo I wallow,

can't eat, can't speak, can just about breathe.

Step four to nourish and moisturise:

relax and shut my eyes.

What lies ahead I do not know

the map is written

I just follow.

Calming cream fills my open pores

as time heals many wounds and sores.

Skin will get thinner with age, I'm told,

my map gets bigger as life unfolds.

''You, my princess are most precious of all

no need to worry, I'm here when you fall.

You are not perfect, 

I don't think that you should

use mirrors to check that you are good,

understood?''

Originally written in 2009, reworked in 2015

Girl Power!

Although I do cry with both joy and sadness, what baby could also be suffering a mid-life crisis? I am definitely not posh. Although being quite sporty, I have to admit that I am not as youthful or flexible as others and I don't consider myself to be scary. Hmm, except when I do occasionally 'lose it' and chuck clothes from a suitcase all around a hotel room in Istanbul screaming at the top of my voice, ''I don't want to go back to (insert swear word and add an ing) Qatar!'' So, the choice was obvious. Ginger Spice.
By the way, my favourite spice is cinnamon.

Did I google how to create a Union Jack dress on Election day or did I just boldly go where my alter ego took me? Obviously the latter. My super sporty sister-in-law, Kate, had brought two patriotic towels for Ellie and Josh during the Easter holidays of 2014. I wonder how many packets of cereal my poor brother, niece and nephew had had to consume to obtain these practical gifts? The Kellogg's logo is imprinted along one edge of each towel, the British Swimming logo along the opposite one.

Bravely I chose to wear one towel which made it almost as short as the real Geri Halliwell dress. I enlisted Romeo's help to safety pin these two advertising edges together down my back and rear. Sternly warning him not to prick me as I was not in the mood and already excited enough to be dressing up yet again. The four pins were soon in position, black leggings beneath and my reliable black sports bra was conservatively concealing my cleavage. Unlike the real Ginger Spice, I didn't want to draw too much attention to myself. I thought I remained very decent despite the shortness of the towel. Killer heels would no doubt result in some damage so I opted for a more sensible, comfortable pair of sandals. I was ready to step back into the 1990's. The party being ''Baby Spice's'' 30th celebration!

Quick flashback through that key decade of life in my twenties:

1990-1993 Bretton Hall College (BA Hons degree in English with Inter-Arts)
1990- met Romeo which sometimes clashed with a new found spiritual side of Susie
1994- worked as a volunteer on a sailing project in Essex
1995-1997 first job as a Care Assistant for children with head injuries in Bury, Lancs
1997- August 9th married Romeo and moved to Formby, Liverpool (where I was also homesick for six years) and worked as a Teaching Assistant with a deaf pupil
1998- 1999 successfully completed the intense PGCE course and proudly became a Teacher of English. Unfortunately, I cried most days unless I played hockey, sang or danced the stress away

Phew! Back to the future, we're in 2015.

I didn't labour in vain for nothing as I was so comfortable in my costume.  It was a very hot night so the sweat from my armpits was easily absorbed in the United Kingdom. How was the Election progressing I kept thinking? Going to the toilet was no problem either as after washing my hands I could simply dry them on my towel dress and return to the fun. It was too hot to dance which was a bit disappointing although at the recent Adidas themed 40th I went to, (equally comfortable in same leggings and sports bra, a green vest top with a homemade retro adidas logo pinned on the front, denim mini-skirt and trainers) I ecstatically got lost in the music for three or four hours. So I definitely had my dancing fix then. However,''I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want.''

I really, really want to be in this Snow Patrol video from 2011.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=GwTXwJg6_VE

I do feel that I have been called out in the dark just now, as I am enjoying some chats with friends on WhatsApp. It's also helping communications between crisis and dirtbag. Responding to my heart and trusting in timing, I phoned my special friend Arthur (97 years old) hoping to catch him on good form, which thankfully, I did. We talked together again for ten minutes or so and I enjoyed hearing his good humour and tinkly laugh, from across the miles. During his six long years away at war, showing love in action as a soldier fighting for his country, Arthur could only communicate by writing letters to his beloved wife, Betty. When I used to visit him every Wednesday morning, at his request I would read some of these letters aloud to him after he had lost his wife and his eyesight failed. I would always silently cry, trying not to smudge the ink on these lovely, letters of love.

The water sports club held its canoe and raft races with a lot of Hoyle participation and commendable rankings. Romeo came 2nd in the canoe race and 1st in a four-man team in the mixed raft race. Mini-Me and Romeo also came 3rd in the doubles canoe race. I laughed my head off coming 2nd in the ladies canoe race and enjoyed every minute with my super team of ''Wonder Women,'' complete with flapping red capes and sequinned eye masks, struggling into 2nd place for the ladies in the raft race. A definite highlight was all of us singing the chorus to ''I'm Every Woman,''by Chaka Khan or Whitney Houston, over and over again, loudly, as we paddled past a struggling male team.

Please don't be too deceived by the recent photo on Romeo's facebook page. In real life, I'm chubbier and more wrinkly. Mum and I decided long ago that we both look much better when we smile, even though smiling creates more wrinkles. I'm posting a poem next time called Spa Class which I wrote in 2009. Although it's very personal I hope it speaks to you in some positive way.

I've now written 32,418 words of my novel.
I aim to finish this first draft by the end of May.

My heart leaps as I realise I will be coming home again very soon.

''Make it last forever friendship never ends''

Lyrics from Wannabe by the Spice Girls (1996)

Sheik, rattle & roll

We were warmly greeted at Sheik Faisal's Museum for our allotted 1-3 pm time slot and told that, ''Unfortunately, there wasn't a tour guide available today.''
''No problem,'' I said. She then replied, ''You are thirty-five minutes late,'' and I thought, welcome to Hoyle time. The everlong Lucas part of me will always strive to be on time, if not at least a good bit earlier to appointments, parties, hash runs! I do get a bit stressed if I am late for things which, unfortunately, appears to have rubbed off onto Ellie and Josh.
Having walked through the giant wooden doors and across numerous brightly patterned carpets, I wondered if I had Narnia-like entered into the prop department on The Game of Thrones film set. Instantly I think of Jon Snow. I wasn't too impressed with a couple of different wigs I saw (a long blonde one and a black frizzy one) on some vacant mannequins modelling various outfits I would never ever fit into.
''Is this a dagger which I see before me?'' Yes, said the information card next to it. It is a Mogul one with an ivory handle inlaid in gold. A nineteenth Century Sudanese knife nearby is wearing a real crocodile cover on it. I saw a pair of fighting axes and an Ottoman sabre and plenty of guns on show, which practically blew me away. How many weapons does one man need? There were even some English and Scottish arrow heads used in the Crusades on display.
''Let's try and get some spares for the fire engine,'' I suggested as we passed the colourful, Dodge truck collection. We were having some work done on our red one and had kindly been lent a green one for this trip. We had it washed later in Doha while we went shopping and couldn't find it for ages in the car park. It was an enlightening moment when I suddenly realised we were expecting to see a shiny red one instead of a shiny green one.

Le Camping
I really wanted to camp overnight somewhere during the holidays. Due to Ellie's training schedule and Bruce sitting we couldn't go with our friends so had to plan to go solo another night. I nearly was literally by myself. Ellie was at a sleepover so I thought it would be a great opportunity to lure my boys out into the desert. Talk about reluctant. Golf and T.V were controlling their lives and I wasn't having it anymore. Any amount of reasoning, reassuring or tempting seemed to fall on deaf ears. I had to threaten the only alternative.
''Well, if you don't want to come with me, I'll go on my own,'' I said nonchalantly and truly meant it. It seemed to do the trick, leaving me free to go Wild (2014) like Cheryl Strayed some other time in my future.
I was content to think that we could concentrate on just being instead of doing.

I sent Romeo off to the shop to buy some fresh fish, I was planning a Susie Stein outdoor barbecue special. Fish, squirted with lemon juice, sprinkled with herbs, wrapped in foil and cooked over glowing coals. Perfect. I thought it maybe asking too much of the lads to go spear fishing for their supper.
It only took us about three hours to get everything ready and eventually we set off.
Hunting high and low, we finally agreed on a suitable pitch not too far away to be able to access the golf course easily the following morning (it was part of the compromise and anyway it gets too hot to hang around for long).  Romeo expertly erected the 4 man tent (a raft race prize won last year) while Mini-Me and mid-life crisis went for a dip in the sea.
We were camped approximately 7 metres from the rocky shore. As the setting sun soon left us, the beautiful stars came out to dazzle us. Mini-Me was peacefully doing his word search by torchlight until le poisson sans frites was ready. Then after many gooey marshmallows were devoured we sat and chatted. I kept my eyes on the sky and was rewarded at the right time to see a shooting star, for my eyes only. I was ecstatic, of course.
I have to use my wishes wisely as most of my dreams really do come true.

The wind picked up and as we settled down to sleep the tents sides flapped loudly. It sounded like someone shaking a big packet of crisps in your face. Do you remember those crisps that had a little blue packet of salt inside you had to empty and shake, (Smith's Salt 'n' Shake)? That kind of noise but continuous and loud. A fair amount of tossing and turning ensued, but I expected that. We eventually slept and the next time I stirred it was dead calm until, zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzziiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiipppppppppppppppppppppp, followed by a waterfall.
The big light switched on at about 5 am. Mini-Me awoke saying he had slept well. It is wonderful to see this part of the world at first light, pale and water coloured, the colours defining as the sun is rising.

Writing in retrospect I consider how very fortunate we are to be able to camp for fun when so many are currently forced to camp in and around Kathmandu, for survival, and with no homes to return to.


The following is from The Five People You Meet In Heaven by Mitch Albom.

The Blue Man smiled. ''No, Edward. You are here so I can teach you something. All the people you meet here have one thing to teach you.''
Eddie was sceptical. His fists stayed clenched.
''What?'' he said.
''That there are no random acts. That we are all connected. That you can no more separate one life from another than you can separate a breeze from the wind.''