Gulp!

I try hard not to be too shocked by the words that spew forth from our offspring's mouths, however, this stunned me for a few seconds last week.

''I don't want breakfast today because I'm fasting.''

OK. Don't panic. Go with the flow Suze.

The pain comes suddenly and I'm also forced to fast due to a 'mild' throat infection, which I find very hard to swallow. MILD, I don't think so Doc, it's keeping me up all night! I feel like I'm gulping down water laced with shards of glass or mini, rough-hewn hessian sacks, with rusty nails sticking out of the sides, (excessive use of I, I know, but I'm ill OK and feeling vulnerable).
Perhaps I'm just as big, soft and defenceless as those Yorkshire puddings Josh made last week? Apparently gingers do have lower pain thresholds than other colours.

My natural defences kick in, producing endless gallons of saliva which I have to swig down or spit out. OUCH, it's so sore! Would the dentist let me borrow one of his saliva sucking machines? The closest I will get to singing today is gargling some salt water solution. Trusting that the drugs will work, I won't listen to The Verve. OUCH, even swilling them down hurts, a lot! What has become of me? How will I ever survive a Yorkshire winter again?

Pain is different for all of us. Taking the introspective lens off myself and using the wide angle, world encompassing one, I see as you do, the horror of yet more terrorist attacks. Where is the antibiotic to permanently stop this suffering? I swallow my pride and my own temporary discomfort, determined once again not to give in to fear.

This will be my last post before the whirlwind summer of fun. I remain perpetually excited. A huge, heartfelt hug full of best wishes, to all those who are leaving this desert for new pastures. Thank you for all your friendship and support. Many thanks also to those of you who have educated the growing minds of dirtbag and Mini-Me. If I really like you I will probably friendship stalk you forever unless you tell me to get lost. To those of you who are staying in this hot, dusty place over the summer and beyond, keep flourishing. We will be returning in August when my Arabian Adventure will continue.

So, as I tie the laces of my trainers ready to walk deliriously back home, this classic track plays on full blast in my head. Odyssey sang it in 1981, but I prefer this 1989 version. It whisks me straight back into the sixth form common room with my girlfriends. We are sniggering and giggling whilst applying fruit flavoured Body Shop balms onto our pure, undefiled lips.

Smile, sing/gargle and dance along with me. Come on, it's only 5.50 minutes of your time.

 www.youtube.com/watch?v=F3fxbZuPRpY

Safe and happy summer to everyone. I know a lot of you will still be working (''Bloody teachers, always on bloody holiday!'' Ay up, sounds like my extremely hard working, lovely brother), but I wish you the same things.

See you soon!

With love,
Susie xx




Our summer book club read is Dissolution by C.J. Sansom if you're interested.

The Drugs Don't Work  by The Verve (1997)

FPI Project, Rich In Paradise/Going Back To My Roots (1989)

Ego Tripping Out

Whilst waking up every day in perpetual excitement at the forthcoming holiday, I know reality will surely sink in at some harsh point when finding myself trapped with the gang in a silver Vauxhall Zafira, on Le road trip to France and Spain during July. Anxiety also creeps upon me as I ponder how to re-create the honeymoon experience we enjoyed at my aunt's house some 18 years ago, with a teenage dirtbag and Mini-Me in tow.
Mission Impossible? (1996).

We are fortunate to have some luscious limes growing on a tree in the backyard, have acquired a gigantic splash pool plus a comfortable sun lounger. It is possible that I am morphing into the 'wonderful world to share,' not of 'brash' Barbie but more likely the UK's Sindy. She had a swimming pool, 'complete with underwater floodlight and foaming jet stream.' We can manage overhead lights and if we all fart together surely we will enjoy the same wonderful effect.

Trying super hard not to begin my sentences with 'I.' This is very challenging when the main subject matter in Susie's Arabian Adventure is Moi and my right of passage through this time in my life. My up to date diary of now. However, who doesn't get annoyed or irritated from time to time by some egocentric woman waffling on and on? Believe me, she even annoys herself!
Universally speaking one of my main aims is to reveal the real challenges any woman of substance has to face as a wife and mother. Although, it's equally as hard for you guys too, so hang on in there suckers.

Speaking of mothers, how shocking to hear that whilst on the very brink of bringing me forth into this world, my own beautiful, blossoming mum was merrily riding pillion on the Yamaha, hugging my handsome dad in her maternity mini dress! It is no wonder I am as I am. Happy to report she did wear a helmet. Is this why I enjoy the thrill of the chase and life in the slower lane of the bicycle seat?

Gently encouraged at an event entitled, Womanhood, to write down the advice we would give to our teenage self with the wisdom acquired in adulthood, this is what I wrote:

Dear Susie,
Don't be afraid, just be yourself. You are good enough just as you are.
Don't try to be anyone else, just be you!

I'm going to tell Ellie these words every week, for the rest of her lovely life.
Hoping you all feel the power of those words for yourselves too, right here, right now.

Another music video I love and would delight to be in with all my wonderful friends and family.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=DL7-CKirWZE

The green fields, hills and woods are no longer a mirage but are actually waiting there on my not so distant horizon once again. Be prepared friends.

With Love xx


Ego Tripping Out  by Marvin Gaye (1979)

You Only Get What You Give  by the New Radicals (1998)

Making tracks and asking questions

We arrived home after the usual Sunday desert trail (we had even waded through water on this one) to discover Mini-Me's boat shoes were missing. I asked him where he had put them, to which he replied,
''I left them on the car tyre to dry.''
Choosing not to get angry, I decide there and then to take up the cycling challenge and retrieve them the following day.
I wake up and set my mind, knowing that I can do anything with determination if I really want to and pedal off at 7.15 am. I battle against the strong winds all the way, waving to the workmen I pass, who wave back. It's already boiling hot. The distance is approximately 12km each way and it takes me one hour to reach the shoes in the sand. Standing in the warm sea I splash water on my face and arms to try and cool me down, the salt stinging my skin. Preparing for the return journey I eat two of my emergency Oreo biscuits and sip my diluted Summer Fruits juice sparingly (I only had 1 litre of fluid with me in my pink Slazenger bottle. I could be Touching The Void (2003) in the desert at any given time).

Thankfully the strong winds push me swiftly, safely all The Way Back (2010). I had to sing to keep myself motivated, stopping occasionally to let my head breathe free from beneath the helmet. Back to base camp I lie down on the rug to recover for a while, satisfied that my mission was successfully accomplished. I also consider that I could have become just as hot and exhausted by shoving my head in the oven and jogging on the spot for two hours. The shoes could have been abandoned and new ones bought, but I remain a frugal Yorkshire girl at heart. Anyway, some nutter could have found them, rescued them and started writing weirdly about them?
My clown is safe and well sitting in my cupboard for now, just in case you were wondering?
I am very fond of him and cannot let him go.

We enjoyed the school Sports Presentation Evening last week. Joshua went up on stage to collect his certificate for representing the school in many fixtures during the 2014/2015 season, alongside many friends. Ellie was wonderfully awarded the trophy for the Under 13's Girls Player of the year. I am so proud of both their achievements and happy they are both enjoying school here. I love to see them both on the stage (Ellie hates the limelight, Josh a bit more confident but very serious). They were both in the Summer Serenade in April, which was lovely. Ellie plays clarinet in the Orchestra and Josh sings in the Junior Choir. The whole event was a showcase of many children's musical talents, encouraged by their hard working music teachers. The Finale featured Ellie playing one of the solo recorder pieces in Adiemus (Karl Jenkins) in-between all the performers on stage singing their hearts out.

It has taken two months of tag team reading to finish Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone at bedtime, with Mini-Me. It's a bit mature for him I think, but he loves the film and fancies himself as Ron Weasley.

I have at last watched and enjoyed both The Theory of Everything (2014) and The Imitation Game (2014). It's good to get to know the wonderful, clever people from our world both past and present. I know that you are all very clever or you wouldn't be reading this.

Here is a short time-lapse video dirtbag made for us from the Barista. She thoughtfully chose the song Heaven by Bryan Adams. He sang the theme tune for Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves (1991) one of the first films Romeo and I watched together.

A while ago I stumbled across a Yorkshire diarist, Anne Lister (1791-1840) who wrote a four million word diary, one sixth of it apparently in code to her female lover! I have been writing diaries since the age of 10 and have many details in them ranging from boring everyday stuff to the many male victims of my teenage obsessions. Sometimes I  think I am very devious in my blog posts chucking in some hidden references to specific friends or family members, usually through song lyrics. I can't help it, it's too much fun and it hopefully keeps the special relationships alive.
Et bien sur, (argh! I can't get the circumflex above the u, the same problem as the Lindt & Sprungli umlaut, despite a Swedish friend and Hungarian family member assisting me. I blame this Arabic keyboard set to English.) I have to continue speaking french for the sake of ma Famille en Paris.
La vie est belle.

By the way, my self-diagnosed mythical Mid-life crisis is a purely positive force which I am celebrating.

I spied with my little eye this dead, desert viper. What does he want to know, I wonder?

Four days of fun

The start of the recent four-day half term holiday took the four of us to the Barasti (an elevated bamboo/palm frond summer house on a private beach, with an additional enclosed air-conditioned room complete with fridge and T.V). It's a kind of Arabian style glamping I suppose. Dirtbag kicks up a bit of a fuss about going but once we arrive she relaxes and enjoys the paradise for what it is. We swim before sunset and while I prepare the basic barbecue dinner, the three play football on the beach. My beloved friends the mosquitoes join us and have a feeding frenzy off both my calves and ankles, resulting in about twelve itchy red lumps. Unfortunately for me, they adore my O positive blood. We all sleep together in the air-conditioned room which is pitch black and don't awake until 8am the following morning.

There are some gentle rolling waves rushing in when we stagger out into the blinding sunlight. Dirtbag can't bear the fun any longer and says she feels sick, so Romeo takes her home. Meanwhile, Mid-life crisis bobs around solo in the surf for a while (Mini-Me is doing some more word searches in his yellow book, highlighting the words found in fluorescent green) when suddenly about thirty flying fish jump out a few metres in front of me, both startling and delighting at the same time. It reminds me of the scene in the Life of Pi (2012) when the fish fly over and into the boat. I love that book and film equally. Unlike the struggling to survive crew members, I didn't need to catch the fish to stop myself from starving as I had already eaten a turkey and smoked cheese sandwich made with farmhouse brown bread for breakfast. I like to think the fish had heard about Susie's Arabian Adventure and just wanted to feature in it.
Once again, this paradise only lasted 24 hours (the allocated booking slot and for a reasonable fee) but I loved every minute of it.

We continued having holiday fun doing more sea swimming and some banana boating. I wanted to insert a video here that I took, but apparently it's too big! (I am exercising the art of self-control now and am not going elaborate on the matter of size again). Imagine the scene: I am hanging on for dear life to both the speed boat and the iPhone. The kids are laughing and screaming hanging onto the inflatable yellow banana, as I am ooh and ahh ing and wobbling all over the place. The recorded footage resembles The Blair Witch Project (1999) on water and in broad daylight. I blame the boat driver, aka Romeo.

Sadly we cancelled our Annual Hash Ball, fearful of Big Brother closely monitoring our fun and also the venue having being suddenly usurped by VIPs. C'est la vie! I remain at peace, my conscience clear, knowing that an even bigger pair of eyes are watching over all our comings and goings. I know this because when I look up into the bright, blue skies or black, starlit nights they wink at me and a still, small voice whispers in the winds, 'It's OK Susie, keep on singing, dancing, swimming, cycling, walking, talking, reading, writing, laughing and living.You're on the right path.'

How much Pharrell style fun, fun, fun I have had, looking after some other children recently. I spent one day with three great kids, (plus our own great kids) laughing, playing and splashing about in the local pool. Then four cute, cuddly days with a six-month-old baby. It brought back many happy memories while creating new ones for me, as I love that feeling of nurturing and caring for others. Why is it so much easier to look after other children than our own? Obviously because we don't have the overwhelming responsibility for them, for the rest of their precious lives.
Warning: This is not an advert for my childminding services and NO Romeo, I do not want another baby!

Speaking of babies I have now completed the first draft of my novel (or novella, which could become a short story after editing?) and printed it out on paper. I walked around the house with it for a while hugging the pages close to my chest, tears of pride and joy welling up in my eyes. It has taken me nine months to create and is 40,110 words long. The next step is really daunting. I have to ask some of my trusted friends to read it and open myself up to receive constructive criticism so I can redraft it. I'm really scared about doing this, but it has to be done.

Recently read: The Rosie Project: (Don Tillman 1) by Graeme Simsion.Very funny.
Currently reading: Another Sky, Voices of conscience from around the world. Utterly compelling as all the authors have been imprisoned or persecuted by their desire to have freedom of expression.
Singing: Can't Deny My Love by Brandon Flowers, I'm Alive by Magenta and Down To The River To Pray by Alison Krauss.
Enjoying some challenging circuit training sessions, so I'm dancing in my dreams to conserve energy.


'' Fear can hold you prisoner. Hope can set you free.''

  The Shawshank Redemption (1994)