Hair, there and everywhere

Out of the woods

The harvest festival was held in the village pub and followed by an auction which was all very amusing and lovely. Autumn is my favourite season and it's certainly in full colourful flow just now. Cycling home from work I get to see a beautiful rainbow over Castle Hill right in front of me, which makes me smile so much as it is the embroidered logo on our school T.shirts and jumpers. Full of hope and happiness I pedal on. The half term holiday has been a welcome break from the school/work routine and a chance to catch up with friends, who I have to remind myself I shouldn't miss anymore as they are nearby, but as we are all so busy working we don't have much spare time. Anyway, I have realised that wherever I am there will always be someone somewhere that I miss.

''That's just the way it is 
Some things will never change.''

We have had one of Dirtbag's desert found friends staying with us all week which has been lovely. Hearing them both giggling and chuckling together around the house makes me consider keeping her here with us forever. I was fearing the worst given that we have gone from having three bathrooms (in the desert) to one. This is definitely downsizing in a bad way. Allowing myself to sink into oblivion in a full, hot bubble bath, after two minutes I will always encounter the following scenario. I've not named us here but I think I'm obvious and the other lines can be either, Romeo, Dirtbag or Mini-Me, you choose.

'I need the bathroom.'
'Oh no, I've just got into the bath.'
'I need the toilet.'
'OK, can you wait a few minutes?'
'I need a poo!'
'Right, I'm getting out now.'

Hauling my work-weary bones out of the depths is somewhat akin to the raising of the Titanic. Then I stand towel wrapped and goose bumped on the landing waiting to re-submerge if I can cope with the air pollution. Considering that we have a few buckets lying around, I could always place one in the cellar for emergency use again, like we did when installing the new bathroom a few years ago.

What crazy person would pay a small fortune for her hair doing and then follow it up by shoving a cycle helmet over her super styled, carefully coiffured locks and go for a two and a half hour bike ride? At least I walked out of the hairdressers feeling like one of those shampoo advert women for a little while. It was such a beautiful afternoon I had to be up on the hills. Although it was 12 degrees I felt freezing as the wind is very chilly over the Pennines. It can't have been too bad though because I did stop to have an emergency cherry ice-cream before returning home. The boys were playing golf and are as keen as ever, the girls were being swots doing homework and revising.

My Mirkwood

Our girls shopping trip resulted in a spontaneous Halloween freak show in which I play the main part. My once demure brows now tinted and tweezed resemble some semi-permanent chic slugs snoozing above my eyes. What is wrong with me? For five wholesome years my eyebrows have been scorched by the harsh desert sun and now I allow myself this ridiculous act of vanity. Why do this when I can't even hide the results behind my sunglasses? If I wasn't constantly blowing my nose free of varying shades of snot I would also consider a tiny nose piercing. Again why? It seems to be a force beyond my control and I'm obviously a bit scared of growing old. Which reminds me to book the date for a November party because parties are fun. Maybe I will wear my new top with the colourful unicorn on it and the words Your sparkle has not gone unnoticed, printed underneath in silver?
It reminds me of Mabel, a character from the animated series Gravity Falls which I love watching with Mini-Me. It's different, quirky and funny.

The Village Bonfire

Newsflashes

Dirtbag ran on the track again at a local club.
Romeo is now seeing the chiropractor for his groin strain.
Mini-Me and Midlife Crisis went on a sponsored walk for Haiti calling at three local churches.
Still looking for more agents/publishers.
Don't give up!

''Every man's work, whether it be literature or music or pictures or architecture or anything else, is always a portrait of himself.''
Samuel Butler (1835-1902) British writer and composer.

With Love xx

Lyrics from The Way It Is by Bruce Hornsby and the Range (1986).

Reading: The Tea Planter's Wife by Dinah Jefferies
Listening and singing to: Love & Hate by Michael Kiwanuka (2016) and Love To The People by Sue Barker (1976)
Dancing to: Around the World by Kings of Leon (2016) and (Feeling Like A) Demon Again by Primal Scream (2016)
Watched: The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug (2013), Tomorrowland (2015) and Pulp Fiction (1994)
Going to see The Girl on the Train (2016) with some girlfriends at www.penistoneparamount.co.uk

How will you go?

I'm still enjoying cycling in the early autumn days and afternoons. Last week I grabbed five juicy blackberries from a bush to sustain me on my way home. I smile hearing the train pulling into the station as I am cycling/walking up the Eiger equivalent through the woods half a mile from home. The flat train journey only takes 11 minutes compared to my 45 minutes of uphill and down dale pedalling.

Harvest

Romeo was invited on a golf tour in Scarborough but the only room available in the 'hotel' was a family one, so guess who joined him? Sorting out the sleeping arrangements Dirtbag declared,
'This isn't a hotel, it's someone's house.' Yikes, luxury desert dwelling has spoilt her.
We had to pretend we weren't really there so as not to cramp the lads weekend away. I feigned surprise to see them all tucking into their full English platefuls at breakfast. Meanwhile, Mini-Me overheard a table full of older bikers behind them and remarked, 'Mum, I think they are French.'
Brilliant! Another excuse to speak this foreign language that I love. All I needed to do was to attract some attention. What mature, French, leather clad monsieur would want to parler avec moi? The one with the twinkly gleam in his eyes passed by and we made contact. Obviously, I was using this opportunity to encourage Mini-Me to develop the art of conversation and amuse myself at the same time, while mute Romeo and Dirtbag stuffed themselves with the full monty. Les hommes were on a biking tour and were here for the Steve Henshaw International Gold Cup Road Races, which were also celebrating 70 years of Oliver's Mount. The non-stop zip zip zipping of motorcycle tyres on tarmac could be heard all weekend across this seaside resort. Or was it the sound of gear changes and engines? Being a pedal pusher I have absolutely no idea whatsoever.

Despite the temptation to experience this high octane sport I already had a date with the kids and some other lovely Dukhan friends who have recently returned, like us, to the homeland. It was so great to see each other again; sharing transition news over a meal, laughing on the top deck of the open topped bus and frittering a few pence away in the amusement arcades.
The following day, as Romeo was whacking his balls about on another course, I treated Mini-Me and Dirtbag to a dive at the Sealife sanctuary. This is the nearest I will get to underwater diving anyway; peering through the tanks eyeballing the beautiful fish, rays, penguins, sharks and sea turtles. Dirtbag was so relaxed and calm, loving the eeriness of the alien-like jellyfish swirling around in different tanks of coloured light. It was quite an expensive treat because I hadn't any vouchers but worth it as it is also a hospital for locally rescued seals.

Ellie's jellies

I have enjoyed a couple of great nights out lately, one being the Shepley Cricket Club Ball where everyone was dressed up and looking gorgeous in their finery; at least the women were. My past often comes back to haunt me here at home which can be so amusing yet sometimes embarrassing as I discovered in the boiling hot toilets at the ball. I was with two glamorous older women at the sinks who knew each other somehow and both knew me. It went something like this:

Woman 1 to Woman 2: So how do you know Suzanne then?

Woman 2: I could have been her mum-in-law.

Susie laughing hysterically but also fearing the next statement directed towards her.

Woman 2: You broke up with him and he failed his A levels because of you.

Susie mortified and clutching at straws here but bravely being honest:
 Aggggh, did he? Oh, I'm so sorry, but I didn't truly love him.

Woman 2 hugging me: It's OK love, you were both so young.

''Escape is on your mind again, escape to a far away land.''

I hurriedly retreat back to the safety of the dancefloor laughing my head off. Yet upon reflection, I feel slightly guilty about the consequences for my ex. Gulp! Is it any wonder that I am a regular church goer? How many other male lives have I ruined? Although I have had my fair share of heartbreak, losses and longings too. All of us wildlings have this in common, don't we?

A staff night out at Playworld sounded like great fun, especially when it turned out to be a retro roller disco. Woohoo! Suddenly I was Dirtbag's age again, whizzing round and round singing to all the 80's, 90's and 00's tunes. Still sporting some streaks of lime green in my hair (from our Macmillan cancer coffee morning at school) and wearing my lucky top, I can happily report that I only fell over once without sustaining any injury.
The most recent event to record is my attempt at modelling seven different outfits for a fundraising fashion show which I absolutely loved. Not knowing many people in the audience helped but it was great to see mum and Dirtbag clapping and smiling at me strutting my stuff down the school hall catwalk. Afterwards, as I said goodnight to Dirtbag through her private, beware of the teenager bedchamber door she replied, 'Night mum and well done.' I smiled throughout my sleep that night.

''When he reached her, she pulled him gently inside the flat and closed the door. He leaned her against the wall. He bunched her bright curls in his hand. Now he wanted to tell her everything that he was feeling, but he felt the words float away. He put his mouth on hers. Her breath was sweet as caramel.''

From The Road Home by Rose Tremain.

With Love xx

Mini-Me and me by the sea

Reading: First Love a poem by Derek Mahon
Singing: How Will You Go, by Crowded House from their album Woodface (1991) and Light Up My Room, by Barenaked Ladies from their album Stunt (1998) with the staff choir (currently a trio).
Dancing to: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7CiVF7LjKU8
Watching: Game of Thrones Season 6, at last. Brilliant.